On Purpose Woman
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A Force for Good
May / June 2020
On Purpose Woman Publisher/Editor Ginny Robertson Creative Director Kathryn Yarborough Contributing Writers: Shelley Astrof Tracy Brown Jennifer Crisp Laura DiFranco Kim Wells Eley Claudette Gadsden Andrea Hylen Barbara Olwig Lilia Shoshanna Rae Karen Tasto Sofia Wren Kathryn Yarborough Cover Art By: Mandy MaMahan
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On Purpose Woman Magazine is published bi-monthly online. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Neither the publishing team or the advertisers accept responsibility for errors. Publication and distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing for any reason. To reproduce articles, always credit On Purpose Woman Magazine with the link to the issue. Also, credit the author and leave their bio and contact info intact.
Cover Artist Mandy McMahan
My cover piece, "Suit Up and Show Up," was inspired by a nurse/essential worker named Miranda. Miranda is my friend Claudia Simpson's niece. Claudia posted this on Facebook. This piece really conveys what I want my Art to be. I'm learning to draw and paint so I can tell stories of the best of humanity through Art. Art Journaling was my entry into the world of Art. I've always kept a written journal. Eventually, I added drawing and painting, and that made the stories I wanted to tell come alive. My art-making has really amped up since I've discovered drawing. I'm not great at it, but I see such improvements with practice. I enjoy having something in my life where I see continued growth. Creating Art has also been my portal to self-discovery and expression, and creativity is a way I comfort myself. My love of Art correlates with my love of travel. I am grateful to have visited museums in Paris and cultural sites in India. These vast experiences continue to influence my work. Follow Mandy McMahon Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/mandy.mcmahan Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/mandymcmahan/
4 Cover Artist Mandy McMahan 6 Message from the Publisher Ginny Robertson 8 Random Acts of Rainbows Barbara Olwig 16 Early Birds Laura Di Franco 20 Living Heaven on Earth – Is It a Total Pipedream? Lilia Shoshanna Rae 28 Inclusion Champions Tracy Brown 30 You Already Are the Courage You Seek: 3 Ways to Find Your Self, The Knower Shelley Astrof 36 12 Practices for Busting Through Body Shame & into Embodied Self-Love Karen Tasto 42 Business Directory 48 Letting Go, Not Fighting Hard – Is it the Real Key to Life? Sofia Wren 56 Pause and Reflect Andrea Hylen 62 Events to Attend 66 Investing in a Book Pays Off: How Much Time and Money Should You Spend for Self-Publishing? Kim Wells Eley 78 When Your Business Calls To You Kathryn Yarborough 86 Peace is Within, Let’s Wallow There Claudette Gadsden
Letter from the Publisher What a difference 8 weeks make! My letter in the March/April issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine was full of “spring is in the air” talk, and about how energized I was to get moving and “spring into action!” Just a few days after publishing, we found out just how serious the global pandemic is, and our lives changed. And, spring is still in the air. I’m enjoying the forced downtime, the dogwood tree in full pink bloom out front, the quiet, the clear skies, connecting with friends and colleagues on Zoom, more time with my husband, Don. I’m grateful for all that we have that makes this time easier. And, with all of the “supposed” extra time, I am not springing into action. I’m mostly just handling things that are urgent. Because I’m not “setting the world on fire,” I’ve been hard on myself. I question why I’m sleeping so much; why my usually sharp mind feels fuzzy and unfocused; why I don’t feel inspired to do that next thing that, under a more normal time, would excite me. I wonder why I’m not reading more, tackling that cluttered closet, finishing the deep clean of my office, and the voice wondering sounds like a critical parent. I haven’t fully internalized the magnitude of what is happening around the globe. I see the statistics, and my heart breaks. I know people are suffering in countless ways, and my heart breaks. And, since I’m not “suffering” nearly as much as many, I tell myself I should be exercising, meditating, calling people I care about, organizing those email folders, planning/implementing my next big business idea, writing a book… Author and Researcher, Brene Brown, writes this: “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past decade, it’s that fear and scarcity immediately trigger comparison, and even pain and hurt are not immune to being assessed and ranked. My husband died, and that grief is worse than your grief over an empty nest. I’m not allowed to feel disappointed about being passed over for promotion when my friend just found out that his wife has cancer…” She adds, “The refugee in Syria doesn’t benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who’s going through a divorce.” I’m with Brene! If there was ever a time to practice self-compassion, this is it!
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As we individually navigate our next socially-distanced moves during this time of The Hunker Games©, a walk through my new neighborhood in Richmond, Virginia prompted me to sit down and pound this out. Determined to “stay in the moment” during my perambulation, I left my earbuds and my music at home in an effort to pay attention to something other than the Hamilton soundtrack. As I passed a home on 39th Street, two colorful drawings taped in the windows caught my eye and made me smile. The rare double rainbow sighting! They were drawings of rainbows, obviously created by a budding artist. Their joyous and sweet innocence got me thinking about how such a simple act can exponentially spread such cheer: The child who drew the rainbow surely enjoyed the moment; the parent who helped hang the masterpieces in the windows experienced a shared moment of love; and now, passersby could realize a moment of connection with the home’s residents. Once back inside my home, I learned through our neighborhood Facebook page that other children throughout Church Hill were hanging their own rainbows as a way to extend some cheer. And, parents were using the rainbow installments as part of a treasure hunt as they took their children on walks. How cool is that? One simple act multiplies and spreads. One simple act sparks a connection between strangers that then generates multiple acts of random kindness. That’s what we need right now. Simple and random acts to let each other know that it’s going to be OK. It’s going to get better. Can there be any doubt if the wisdom stems from the crayons of babes? Everything is going to be OK. Here are a few more examples that I’ve stumbled across: Teachers in Bentonville, Arkansas decorated their cars and organized a parade for their students, who cheered them on from front lawns and sidewalks. The New York Times reports on a group of 20-somethings in Boston who put their heads together and created a mutual-aid network that has now expanded across the country. People who need help are connecting with people who want to help – with donations of food, clothing, money, or emotional support. A middle-school teacher in Salt Lake City organized more than 100 teens who wrote letters to elderly residents of a care center, cut off from visitors because of the coronavirus. According to an article in the Washington Post, the teacher wanted to “give my kids something to do right now that is bigger than themselves.” This pandemic is bigger than any single one of us. But by hanging together – again, properly socially distanced – WE are bigger than Covid-19. Way bigger. So, do what you can. Call out a thank you to the FedEx driver when he drops off the items you ordered. Wave to the bus driver as she passes you. Scroll through your contact list and shoot a text to a friend or former colleague who you haven’t connected with in a while. An unexpected “I’m thinking of you. Hope you’re well.” message creates a Hallmark® moment that didn’t cost you a dime. Last Saturday, I received a text from a neighbor, letting me know that another neighbor’s daughter – who was to have been married on St. Patrick’s Day (her birthday) in Disneyworld – was going to be married on Sunday in the park across the street. Unbeknownst to the bride or her family, plans were afoot to decorate the front of her parent’s home with green ribbons, flowers, and shamrocks while the ceremony was taking place. As the newlyweds walked back from the park, they were greeted with applause by a dozen or so neighbors occupying chalk-marked spots on the sidewalk to ensure six-foot safety. We had each brought our own champagne flutes to offer up a toast. The sense of community was as sparkling as the liquid poured into our glasses, and more than a few of us had tears in our eyes. As a young history nerd, learning about the 1918 influenza pandemic and the Black Death and similar global horror stories, I wondered how in the world people survived through those disasters. Now I’m learning first-hand. We all are. And it feels very scary. Yet I’ve also learned how, as a nation, we’ve always stepped up in moments like this. Right now, we all need to share random acts of rainbows. I’m convinced that we’re going to discover that we’re a kinder, stronger nation because of what we’ve come through as a nation. And that’s a 24-karat life experience that no amount of gold can buy.
Random Acts of Rainbows by Barbara Olwig
Barbara Olwig is a right-brained, left-handed creative type trying to navigate the third half of her life without a map. Check out her blog: https://medium.com/@bjolwig
WE are bigger than Covid-19. Way bigger.
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Early Birds by Laura Di Franco I see you there You’re gettin it girl Greeting the sun Following purpose and the sound of your soul Willing to be the one; to do it first to do it alone to do it uncomfortable Early bird hear me now You have a song You have a voice with a melody nobody’s ever heard Your song is going to change the world So get up, early bird Do your thing I see you there making a swing like a bat on a ball trying again when you strike out We all know it’s not how many times you fall but how many times you’re willing to get back up sing again swing again risk it all again And there’s something I’d like you to notice early bird You’re not the only one Stop for a moment and listen Be still really pay attention you’ll hear a symphony of early birds willing to help you rise help you fly help you sing that song Reach out Share your voice your purpose your love Dream big and out loud It’s not about fighting for that worm it’s about sharing the feast with your friends forming a chorus showing the world what a divine collaboration can really do So…go early bird I see you there you’re gettin it girl I’m singing with you and I saved you a piece of my worm let’s eat together
Laura Di Franco, MPT can help you have fun with fear and write, speak and share words that leave the legacy you were born for. Time to be brave! Email Laura at bewarriorlove@gmail.com
Photo by Vittorio Zamboni on Unsplash
From Kathryn Yarborough: Look to the Future with Positive Expectation!
Is It a Total Pipedream? By Lilia Shoshanna Rae
Living Heaven on Earth
Life on earth feels a bit hellish right now, does it not? Many talk about getting back to normal or a new normal. In the meantime, life feels a bit unsettling. But even in the midst of this turmoil and traumatic change, there are ways to feel a touch of heaven in our lives. Let me share a few ways for you to access a sense of heavenly peace and calm, no matter what is going on in the world. First, tap into what heaven on earth would look like if it were a real thing. I’m sure it would be different for each person. The more detail you bring to your personal vision, the more possible it may seem. You may catch yourself trying to describe what it would NOT be (no restrictions on travel, no wearing masks, no scary images of a virus popping up on TV and social media a gazillion times a day). Express it in positive terms as to what you would be seeing, feeling, doing, who you would be with, how would you be with them, what would be the backdrop (your dream home, a beachside, mountaintop)? Most important is what would you be feeling and sensing? Next, check in to see how much of this you already have. Gratitude and appreciation for what we have in the present moment can have some surprising results. When I take a moment to count my blessings, I am amazed at how blessed I am. When we are focused on what we don’t have, we rarely appreciate what is there in front of us. As you reflect on the parts of heaven on earth that you already have, allow your gratitude and appreciation to sink in and uplift at the same time. With that small step, you probably recognize you have a lot more of what you consider heavenly in your life than you first thought. I know my heaven on earth would include my family, time with my grandchildren, playing with them, teaching them what I have learned, helping my children parent them in ways I could only hope to do. Right now, I am only able to be with two of my grandchildren, and only because of some special circumstances. But each moment I am with them, I savor and treasure – even when the 3-year old is throwing a temper tantrum because he wants his mommy, and he has to stay with me. If I didn’t bring an appreciation and gratitude in the moment for the blessing that I have for this time with him, I might feel angry or frustrated. By being fully appreciative of this blessing, I can just smile and relax into the moment and enjoy, knowing it too will pass. I wish I had known how to do this as a parent. Perhaps you are experiencing a tough time right now. Is there a blessing in it that with a sense of appreciation and gratitude, you could take the edge off your emotions and allow yourself to sink into a more relaxed and serene place – one with just a hint of heaven, maybe? Or perhaps a hope of heaven soon? Whatever sense of appreciation and gratitude you bring to your present experience will help you to tap into a sense of more to come. There are unlimited resources if we allow them to surface through our expressions of appreciation and gratitude. A third thing to do is to bring your best spiritual practices to mind. Take one of them and use it as a building tool for a week. For example, I try to meditate each morning. I notice that when I skip it because I feel too busy, my day gets a bit wonky, and it is a little harder to experience the joy, peace of mind, and ease that I associate with heaven. When I consciously choose to do it as a regular practice, my life feels a whole lot better. Maybe you journal or do yoga, but not consistently. What if you committed to doing it on a regular basis with the intention to shift the vibration in your life? Experiment. See what happens. After a week, check-in with yourself. How did it contribute to your feeling more heavenly moments in your life? Did you forget, like I do so often? Then begin anew. Each day is a new day. Each moment is a new moment. Hit refresh and start over. Remember the goal – to bring just a little more heaven into your life each week, no matter what else is going on in your life. You can do it. We can all do it together, but it begins with having a vision for it, appreciating what we already have, and then finding a tool to build on what we have.
Gratitude and appreciation for what we have in the present moment can have some surprising results.
Whatever sense of appreciation and gratitude you bring to your present experience will help you to tap into a sense of more to come.
Each day is a new day. Each moment is a new moment. Hit refresh and start over.
Lilia Shoshanna Rae is the author ofThe Art of Listening to Angels.She teaches how to connect to your personal angel team to live a life on purpose. Lilia believes when we live on purpose, we bring Heaven on Earth, her personal mission, and “possible” dream. Check out her Facebook group Angel Connection Circle. Website: www.liliashoshannarae.com
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Inclusion Champions Videos by Tracy Brown Check out Tracy Brown's videos"Speak Up" and "Encourage Respect." They are part of a 4-part series to support people committed to being champions and role models for inclusion. Parts 3 & 4, "Set a Positive Example" and "Commit to Continuous Learning" will be in the July/August issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine.
Part 2
Tracy Brown is a Dallas based author, nationally known for shifting conversations about diversity and inclusion from debate based on politics and personality to dialogue that leads to positive results and healthy relationships. She’s worked with corporations and nonprofit organizations for more than 20 years; and since 2009, she has offered guidance to churches and spiritual leaders. Tracy’s most recent book is “Stained Glass Spirit: Becoming a Spiritual Community Where Oneness Does Not Require Sameness.” www.TracyBrown.com
Part 1
You Already Are the Courage You Seek
3 Ways to Find Your Self, The Knower by Shelley Astrof
Courage doesn't come from somewhere else. It comes from your own Self; you don't buy it in a store or find it online. You already are the courage you seek. So how do you come to know it? My first courageous decision. The first time I made a courageous decision was when I wanted to bring my son with me to India to immerse myself in meditation with a master. My family had a different idea, and they weren't shy about letting me know what they were thinking. My inner voice was screaming. I never experienced anything like it before. I knew I would find the purpose of my life there. It was the first time ever that I chose ME. That decision set the stage for learning how to make brave choices. It took more courage than I realized to go with my gut. And as a result, I learned to trust my authentic voice, the Knower within. Now, more than 40 years later, I have to say that it was the BEST decision I ever made. Finding your authentic voice, the Knower. Your authentic voice is the Knower of who you are. It’s your internal guidance system that operates for your well-being. You can learn to distinguish between what you think with your mind (which is changing) and what you Know with your being (which is unchanging). It’s a subtle distinction that can be sorted out through meditation and knowledge. Meditation is necessary for your growth in awareness. By closing your eyes, you gather strength, center yourself and get in touch with your essential nature that lies at the core of your being. Meditation aligns, focuses and settles your mind, energy and nervous system. It works best when you also have an understanding of the workings of your mind, then you are able to consciously implement a positive, lasting change in your outlook. Meditation and knowledge go hand in hand when you are working to be the best version of your Self. Three ways to unfold your true Self, the Knower. 1.Meditation Try to watch your mind in meditation. Observe your thoughts as they come and go and change. Through your observation, you’ll find that everything that belongs to the mind, changes. Then place your attention on the one watching the changes in your mind. The one watching the changes is unchanging and goes by the name Knower. That is your authentic Self who you meet in meditation. Through practicing meditation, you build an inner power that focuses on your well-being. 2.Knowledge When the knowledge of the changing mind and the unchanging Knower are added to your understanding, then your awareness expands. Through meditation and the knowledge of observation, you’re able to distinguish between the changing thoughts of your mind and the unchanging Knower watching them. This knowledge will bring you strength and awareness. It will help you take a step back from your mind and examine situations from a position of watchful detachment. When you identify yourself as the one who is watching your mind, you are the Knower. This knowledge is essential to expand your awareness into your everyday life. 3.Practice It is helpful to have a safe haven to practice the knowledge of meditation. As you apply this knowledge in your daily life, you’ll start to explore dimensions of your mind, thinking and understanding. Stepping outside of the confines of your own thinking is powerful. This is where you can explore different perspectives and ideas. You can learn to listen to different points of view while knowing that every mind, including your own, sees from its own perspective. And every mind believes its perspective to be the correct one. You can know that this is the limitation of the mind but not of You, the Knower. It’s necessary to practice knowledge and meditation because this is where strength, confidence and courage get built.
Make the experiment for yourself. Try meditation, knowledge and practice. Then watch and see if you become the courage you seek.
Shelley Astrof, author of The Knower Curriculum, offers a unique perspective on meditation. She has four decades associated with a Meditation Master inthe Himalayas of India. https://www.knower.ca
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Once You Know Your Purpose, Then What? Ginny Robertson interviewed by Kathryn Yarborough
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Jennifer Crisp, RN, shares how to take off and care for your mask.
12 Practices for Busting Through Body Shame & into Embodied Self-Love By Karen Tasto
How did I get myself out of a lifetime of body shaming and into embodied self-loving? I share with you here in this final part of my three-part series, the practices I have gathered and used over the years. Some are my own, some from teacher/author Regena Thomashauer, and some from author Sonya Renee Taylor. Start with one or two at a time. Go only as fast as the slowest part of you feels safe to go. You’ll find the links to the first two articles I wrote for On Purpose Woman Magazine at the end.
1. Stop Apologizing for Your Body — We’re so habituated in saying, “I’m sorry” when no apology is warranted, like for simply taking up space or for your size. A book on this I highly recommend is “The Body is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor. It’s time to stand in our bodies and thus our power unapologetically, not allowing anyone or any culture to dictate our physicality or definition of beauty. 2. Watch Your Body Bad Mouthing — Be aware of how much you berate your body, using derogatory remarks and expletives. Your body receives these messages, just like a friend would receive them. As Sonya Renee Taylor says, “How we speak to our bodies impacts how we experience our bodies.” 3. Try on New Thoughts — Turn your disapproving and dismissing thoughts into positive, uplifting ones, whether you believe them to be true or not. The old adage, “Our thoughts create our reality” is real. As you become aware of the negative thoughts, immediately back each one with a positive thought. 4. Stop Disapproval in Its Tracks with a Mantra — Create a simple, positive, juicy present tense statement that you can repeat to yourself. It should even make you uncomfortable and be a little outlandish. This means it’s pushing your growth edge. Examples include, “Hello, gorgeous!” “I love my body,” “My body is sizzlin’ hot and sexy,” or even, “I’m curious about loving my body.” 5. Write & Share Your Body Shame Story — According to Brene Brown, “Shame needs three things to grow out of control: secrecy, silence, and judgment.” Write your story. Share it out loud when you feel ready to do so with people who have earned the right to hear it. As you bring your story out of hiding, you’ll realize you’re not that different from anyone else, reclaiming the sense of belonging and enoughness that was yanked from you at an early age. 6. Movement — Move, shake, dance like no one is watching, feeling how your body wants to move, not how you think you should. Your body is meant for moving. The more we allow it to move us, the more in relationship we become with our bodies. Reconnect to the physical activities you delighted in as a child, if possible. 7. Touch Your Body Like an Explorer & Lover — Build intimacy and trust with your body through exploratory touch. Notice what is present with your body, what type of touch brings pleasure, and where you disassociate from your body. If you have spent years in negligence of your body or dealing with trauma, start with simply a hand on your heart and belly. Breathe as you send loving energy into your body. 8. Give Approval & Gratitude to One Body Part at a Time — Start with the body part you like best and lavish that part with gratitude and praise. Continue through your body parts, eventually getting to the ones you disapprove of. Notice every detail and give gratitude for all that your body provides and gifts you with. 9. Get Naked — I used to go from the shower, right to towel to robe to clothing. When my boys were small, nothing would make them as silly and gleeful as when they were free to run naked through the house or yard. Strip free of clothing when you can and feel the air on your skin, the freedom of being unrestricted, the innocence of nudity. For a naughty feeling, go panty free for a day! 10. Gaze at Your Naked Body in a Mirror with Approval — Start with just your face in a small mirror and eventually get yourself in front of a full-length mirror naked, lavishing your entire body with praise and affirmations. Go big. Fake it if that’s all you have. Act and move as if you are seducing your own reflection. With practice, it will l authentic. 11. Be Witnessed in Naked Body — As you’re feeling comfortable with your naked body alone, step out with your beautiful body in view of others. Perhaps it’s in the locker room or with whomever you live with at home. 12. Build Your Shame Free Circle — This is a most important ingredient and one you are most likely to dismiss. But we can’t do this kind of shame busting without others to support and encourage us. Start small with just one or two trusting girlfriends and make an agreement for a body bad-mouthing, apologizing-free zone. Share your body shame stories. Agree to simply hold space for each other.
Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash
Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash
Karen Tasto works as a certified women’s empowerment coach, Reiki master, & sacred circle facilitator. She also teaches workshops and leads retreats. Her powerful spiritually-based coaching will ignite your inner goddess, release your good girl, and guide you to living the life you crave. She’s holding space for you at her Free Weekly Friday Circles on Zoom. You can learn more here https://karentasto.com/free-weekly-circles/ Read From Body Shame to Body Love — Part 1 Read From Body Shame to Body Love — Part 2
As you’re diving into these tools, hold the utmost compassion and patience with yourself. The last thing you need to do is hold shame for carrying shame. I’m certainly not claiming to be 100% over my body shaming. It’s a journey into self-love, and these practices are one way through. If you have experienced sexual trauma or abuse, by all means, seek out a reputable therapist. I am only sharing here from my own experiences and work with my teachers. This shame busting is an unraveling. It comes apart in pieces and layers. Sometimes the layers are thick, ugly, and mucky, sometimes they’re wispy like a veil. You may think you’re over it, as I once did, and then another layer is revealed. But each layer unraveled brings you closer to complete freedom. Incorporating any or all of these practices over time and consistently as I have done, will help you bust through your body shame and into loving your whole entire being both inside and out. You’ve got this beautiful, sexy goddess!
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Grow the business your heart longs for.Training and support with Kathryn Yarborough. www.ManifestingClientsAcademy.com Maria Petrucci, DC.Craniosacral Therapy, Chiropractic, and Mind-Body Tools to alleviate pain and stress. www.nourishing-journey.com. 240-394-2037. mpetrucci.dc@hotmail.com. Music 4 More. Deidra Stevens. Non-profit that repairs and recycles musical instruments into music programs for schools and veterans. www.music4more.org Nourishing Journey Café & Wellness Center. Jennifer Palmer. Healing Bodies ~ Opening Minds ~ Uniting Hearts. Columbia MD. www.nourishing-journey.com 410-992-3001 On Purpose Woman Community Connections Over Coffee. Ginny Robertson. 8 monthly meetings in Maryland and one in Richmond VA. www.OnPurposeWomanCommunity.com On Purpose Woman Magazine. Contact Ginny Robertson for advertising rates, writing for the magazine or being our cover artist. www.OnPurposeWomanMagazine.com. Open Heart Healing. Karen Tasto. 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Clear your subconscious blocks with the powerful subconscious releasetechniqueSRT. www.srtglobalcoaches.com Soulful Business Coach Dawn Shuler. I work with women business owners to play bigger by focusing on systems. www.SmartBusinessFromYourSoul.com Soul-utions Hypnosis. Beverly Hamilton CHt. Restoring health and vitality through Hypnosis, Reiki and Aromatherapy. FREE self-hypnosis recording: www.Soul-utionsHypnosis.com HypnoAromaBev@gmail.com 410-663-5089. “The ABCs of Conscious Parenting: Bringing Ease and Joy into your Relationship with your Child.” By Jill Mann Pekofsky. A “tool-box” in a book! conscousparenting@comcast.net Find it on Amazon. The Organizer.Bonnie Blas Kashnow. Paper Management, Checkbook Balancing, Personal Assistant.orgnizr18@cs.com. www.baltimoreorganizer.com 410-358-9290. Trades of Hope. Michele Silva-Dockery. Empowers women across the globe out of extreme poverty. Beautiful handmade jewelry and home decor! www.mytradesofhope.com/MicheleSilvaDockery www.TheChrisaGroup.com. Chrisa T.S, Public Speaking Coach. Speak up. Show up and Share your message with presence and influence. The world is waiting for you. Virtually Nat -Digital Marketing Agency. Natalie Gallagher. Growing businesses through web design, web maintenance, SEO, and social media strategy. https://virtuallynat.com Wise Words That Matter. Krista Giannak. Writing and PR, getting businesses and nonprofits noticed, uncovering untold stories. Blogs, bios, articles, webpages. (631) 505-4011 www.wisewordsthatmatter.com Your High Vibe Business by Brave Healer Productions. Laura Di Franco, MPT. A Business Building Community and Mastermind for Healers http://YourHighVibeBiz.com
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Letting Go, Not Fighting Hard Is it the Real Key to Life? By Sofia Wren
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
“Take control of your life” is a phrase that sounds good, but what if the true road to happiness right now is to surrender? When I first planned to write this article in February, I had no idea that life as we all knew it was about to change. I’d been living in Japan for over six months. Corona was something we were talking about, but I didn’t picture the United States and other countries shutting down. I was excited to keep traveling, see my grandma in Italy, see Venice, see Portugal and then go home to America—land of all the foods I want to eat and loved ones I want to party with. Oh, how plans change. If there’s any word that summarizes the last year for me, it’s ‘Surrender.’ And the truth is I don’t really like the concept. Growing up, surrender felt like it meant ‘giving up,’ or ‘slinking away in humiliation.’ I’ve had my bullies, and being passive felt like letting someone else win at my expense. It felt like resigning to be inferior. Without always realizing what I was doing, I’ve spent a long time trying to be in control. I got good grades. I was as nice as could be—no one could fault me for breaking any rules, and that was the point. But quickly into adulthood, I realized that for some reason, I was becoming a doormat for other people! So I thought, the answer must be to be MORE in control. Right? Must be. I spent a whole year, my “Freedom Year,” exploring how to be more in control of my life until finally, I realized it was driving me crazy. While editing my book about that year, I keep realizing how oddly similar being abroad has been—illuminating all the ways I’ve been grasping for control until I cry uncle and surrender. Fighting what you can’t control just doesn’t work. Aren’t we all wondering what to do? How to operate in a world filled with invisible terrors? Aside from washing our hands, wearing masks, and keeping a distance, perhaps accepting what we cannot control is the largest task for all of us. I’m currently paused here in Japan. I stopped trying to book flights out when everything through Europe was canceled. Before buying tickets through Hawaii, I stopped to breathe. My intuition said, “Wait.” So wait, I did. Then my family called me mid-March and said, “Come home now.” The US State Department had released a travel advisory to get Americans abroad to come back as soon as possible. I was reluctant, but the panic set in. I trashed anything too big for my suitcase and prepared to be out that week. But then, I took a moment to feel into my center and breathe, and I heard, “Stay.” I’ve spent the last month living with my boyfriend here. I have no idea when I will be coming back or what I will be returning to. Nobody likes insecurity—I’m pretty sure humans are hardwired to prefer hard answers. But when these things are lacking, there is only one thing we can do: surrender. Some days surrendering is like letting a beautiful vase crash to the floor. There are shards, and it hurts. Suddenly losing something I planned on can feel like the worst thing ever. I thought it would be there, and now it is gone. But for this particular vase, all I can do is clean up the pieces. The sooner I accept things have changed, the faster I’ll get it cleaned. This is not the end. It’s not the end of me or you. It’s not the end to everything. But it is the end of something: a chapter. If you let the past go, you can start to find new ways to adjust. But first, you need to mourn and be with all the feelings. To do this, be careful of how things affect your mood. I’ve started limiting anything that puts me on a rollercoaster: alcohol, caffeine, and social media or news scrolling before 11 a.m. If it is too difficult, games like Tetris and Candy Crush are shown to help PTSD symptoms. I use them to soothe my anxiety. Surrender can involve taking action, as well. I built some new routines and habits. I dance, go outside, journal, do art, play guitar, write, enjoy my bath, cross-stitch, cook more thoughtfully, and do virtual therapy. I like EMDR, EFT, and guided meditations. When I’ve calmed down a little, I can breathe. I can find where I really am. That’s when I fill in gaps left behind by all the crashing vases. Sometimes I realize what is really important and find a new way to approach it. I’ve reawakened my passion for writing this year. It had become a tool for external validation, and I needed to remember it’s primarily an act of love and transparency. I know it’s not just me who is feeling uncertain. Many of us are facing the challenges of these times: a sense of not being in control, of not being able to do the things that we are used to, and not knowing what the future will bring. How do you make decisions? How do you know what to do? We all have many questions and lots of unknowns. To put it mildly: it’s all very uncomfortable. It’s often scary. Everyone is worried—what’s the money situation going to look like? Are we going to be okay? All this not knowing could even drive you a little bit crazy. There’s a space, an emptiness: a loss of what you’ve once had. I don’t know what will come… but I know that I will know when I know. Answers will come. It’s okay to change my mind and take things one day at a time. Same with you. You will know when you know. Surrender. Check in with yourself. Do something to love yourself. Then wait and see.
what if the true road to happiness right now is to surrender?
I know it’s not just me who is feeling uncertain.
Sofia Wren helps writers and entrepreneurs make faster progress and always know what to do. Sofiawren.com Sofia@Sofiawren.com
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Pause and Reflect by Andrea Hylen Tip #3 of 8 Tips for Building an Innovative Business and Life
Family and friends filled the pews at the Methodist Church in Catonsville, MD to honor and celebrate my husband’s life. Five weeks earlier, he had died in hospice after a ten-month battle with multiple myeloma cancer. My daughters and I had waited five weeks to have a ceremony, keeping the jar of ashes in the living room before sharing him with others. Instead of jumping into action, I pushed pause and reflected on how I wanted to celebrate his life. My husband was an innovator with a big booming laugh. A loud celebration with a full-sized poster of him smiling, at the front of the church, and rock and punk music playing as people gathered was what I decided to do. The celebration was two hours long, with stories and tears and laughter. After the service, we invited people to come back to our home with a moon bounce in the backyard and a chocolate fountain at the buffet with photos of Hurley jumping out of airplanes, pictures with a hawk perched on his arm and him standing beside cars, planes, and fish tanks, laughing with friends and family. The message: Live a Life Worth Celebrating The inspiration came out of the pause. Instead of rushing to plan a memorial service, we gave ourselves time to feel and let the tears flow. More tears would follow, but the pause gave us space to tune into the desire of how we wanted to celebrate his life. It took me a while to get clear on what I wanted to do with our house. Hurley died during the summer of 2005. It took a few years to sell his business, the car lot that had been right down the street from our home. There was also the year I cleared the basement, hired someone to repair the roof, and sold all of the backhoes and larger yard equipment. When all of that stuff was cleared, I was meditating one morning and saw the vision of a U-haul truck parked in the driveway of our house. I wondered out loud, are we moving? In my heart, I knew that was the sign I needed. It took five months to clear everything out of our eleven-room house. With a few stops and starts, we found the buyer. A few more months before we went to settlement. All in all, it took one year. In January 2010, my 17-year-old daughter and I packed up a Toyota Highlander leaving a 10 x 10 storage unit in Maryland, as we drove to California to explore something new. For some reason, I was expecting to have a lot of clarity and answers when I arrived in California. Instead, it took another year before I received the inspiration to start Heal My Voice and another six months before the first project would begin. This is part of the “ride” of living an innovative life. Knowing when to push pause and take some time to reflect. It may be for an hour or five weeks or eighteen months. Part of the process requires slowing down. Last summer, a woman in The Writing Incubator community was asking me about my radio show. I have two blog talk radio stations that were started in 2009, with hundreds of radio shows. I hadn’t recorded anything since 2017, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to host a show again. We could record one episode, but did I want to do that? I thought about it and pushed pause. I knew I could, but there was no inner “yes.” In the pause, I thought about the amount of energy it takes to host a radio show. I asked myself questions. Meditated. Listened to some old shows. I researched other podcast hosting services. Listened to podcasts. Offered a suggestion to record an interview on Zoom, if she wanted practice. I cleared a path for the answers knowing the answer might be no. Finally, in mid-March, after months of listening and waiting, an idea found me. Two weeks later, I started a podcast called “Carving a New Path.” I had something to say, and I had ideas about who I wanted to interview and why. Notice when you have an instinct to slow down and pause. Create some quiet time in meditation or walking in nature. Let yourself daydream. Before putting something into action, visualize the different parts. This is not hesitation. It is a way of allowing space for a clearer vision to emerge. In the Jan/Feb issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine, I shared Tip #1: Be willing to go on the ride. There was a spark and a desire to say yes to “something.” A business idea, a relationship, a class, or in my case, I shared a story about a water slide at an amusement park. In the March/April issue, Tip #2: Notice what turns you on. There is something in the desire that lights you up and ignites your passion. You can feel it in your body and heart. That is the key. The desire turns on a feeling and a sensation in your body. InTip #3: Pause and Reflect.You have to be empty so new ideas can land. Give yourself space to daydream. Even when you have an idea, and you are on the ride, create some space for the idea to be dormant, and take root. You have to be able to hold it. Allow time for grounding. 1.Slow down 2.Commit to a practice that empties your mind. 3.Incubate the idea. 4.Daydream 5.Record ideas but wait to take action. Be willing to go on the ride. Notice what turns you on. Pause and Reflect. Body text
Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, an on-line writing community .www.andreahylen.com
Online Events On Purpose Woman Community – Connections Over Coffee Though we usually meet in person in the locations listed, we're meeting ONLINE until Further Notice Just For Women - FREE - while we meet online. Meeting on Zoom. Since it’s online, all women are invited, no matter where you live. 10:30am – Noon (est) 1stTuesday – Baltimore, MD 1stFriday – Richmond VA 2ndThursday – Rosedale MD 2ndFriday – Annapolis MD 3rdMonday – Lutherville MD 3rdThursday – Bethesda MD Last Monday – Fort Washington MD Last Tuesday – Frederick MD Last Friday – Columbia MD www.OnPurposeWomanCommunity.com Contact: ginnypresleyrobertson@gmail.com to get on the email list so you won’t miss out! Connections Thru Conversation Online Gathering for All On Purpose Women Monday, May 4th or Wednesay May 20th, 1-2pm Eastern / 10 – 11am Pacific Online, on Zoom, and FREE Register at http://onpurposewomancommunity.com/online/ Discussion Topic: Attracting Clients – How to Grow a Business During Changing Times Contact: Kathryn Yarborough at Kathryn@ManifestingClientsAcademy.com Connections Thru Conversation Online Gathering for All On Purpose Women Monday, June 1st or Wednesday, June 17th, 1-2pm Eastern / 10 – 11am Pacific Online, on Zoom, and FREE Register at http://onpurposewomancommunity.com/online/ Discussion Topic: Celebrating Life (Even when…) Contact: Kathryn Yarborough at Kathryn@ManifestingClientsAcademy.com
Events To Attend
Maryland Events Mid-Atlantic Spiritual Science Academy – Year One Class Starts September 9, 7:00 pm – 9:45 pm Planet Soul Holistic Community. NW Baltimore (Pikesville), MD 21208 Ongoing, Weekly, Life-changing, Progressive Metaphysical School: Esoteric Books * Healing * Transformation Rev. Robin planetsoul@verizon.net (410) 581-9022
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Now more than ever, writing and self-publishing your book is one of the most powerful ways to grow your business and make money. But first, I want to share with you a secret I tell all of my clients. The Real Money in Books This secret is so significant that I call it having “The Talk.” No, it is not about the “birds and bees!” What I share with my clients is that most authors don’t make significant amounts of money from their online book sales! Unless you are a big name author, the market is so saturated that book sales are often low. However, writing and self-publishing books can indeed make you money! What’s the scoop? Entrepreneurs make money when they use their books as their BEST MARKETING TOOL EVER! The money to be made from self-publishing books comes from establishing yourself as an expert, attracting and getting hired by clients, raising your visibility, getting media coverage, and gifting copies to event planners and employers. I call books your “business card on steroids.” If there are so many advantages to writing and self-publishing books, what’s stopping many entrepreneurs from writing theirs? The answer is the investment of time, money, and skills. Taking the Time to Write and Publish How long it takes to write a book depends on the writer and their abilities. The most successful writers, meaning the ones who start and actually finish their books, create a plan. By establishing a writing habit, they complete their writing by a certain date to meet their plan schedule. After a writer completes their book draft, how long does it take to self-publish? On average, it takes about seven months. A number of steps, including editing, formatting, proofreading, and ordering printed proofs, must be completed prior to publishing. Additional subtasks involved in a book project include ordering International Standard Book Numbers (ISBNs), choosing keywords and the correct genres, and registering the book with the Library of Congress (LOC), to name a few. Which Writing/ Publishing Role Suits You? I’ve run into many people who have written and self-published books and were completely frustrated by the process! Whether you love or hate to write, or are intimidated by the self-publishing process, you can still get your words out with your amazing book. Let’s look at three approaches to writing and self-publishing. I have named each approach as a role, provided a description, and added my tips for “investing” in a self-published book based on these characteristics. A DIY Diva has the time and the know-how to write and publish her own book. Savvy with tech skills, she has the confidence to tackle the aspects of self-publishing. Project management - She can plan all of the milestones and deadlines for writing her book. Accountability – She’s established a writing habit, and she sticks to it. Research – She has read books about self-publishing and makes the time to do research. Thriftiness –She has amazing friends and colleagues who are willing to pitch in with help, which may include (good) editing and book cover design. Recommendation: The DIY Diva has the confidence, time, and know-how to write and self-publish her book with minimal monetary investment ($0 – 500). She would rather do the legwork herself when it comes to the administrative parts of publishing (ISBNs, copyrighting, etc.) than pay for someone else to do the work. Depending on her technical skill level, her time investment may be heavier than seven months. A Time-Crunched Task Master has the know-how and discipline to write her draft, but she employs others when it’s time to self-publish. Balancing her time and monetary resources, she would rather hire a publishing consultant to do the work needed for publishing. Project management - She can plan all of the milestones and deadlines for writing her book. Accountability – She’s established a writing habit, and she sticks to it. Practicality – She knows it is worth it to pay an editor, a publishing consultant, and whomever she needs to collaborate on her book once she’s written the draft. She may be able to accomplish some tasks herself but engages others for ones outside her “zone of genius.” Recommendation: She can write and self-publish her book with modest monetary investment ($500 – 2500). How much she spends will depend on the contractors she hires. She may need to be “hands-on” if she uses multiple contractors (from companies like Fiverr or Upwork, for example) to assist her. To a Dynamic Delegator, hiring a writing coach to help her stay accountable is the smartest decision. She may consider employing a ghostwriter. She prefers to work with a publisher or publishing consultant who will take care of all of the tasks, milestones, and deadlines for writing and publishing her book. She knows the money she invests will pay off in the client acquisitions she will obtain from her book and time spent in developing other projects. Project delegation – She saves herself valuable time and spares herself from frustration by collaborating with and delegating the accountability for writing her draft to her writing coach or ghostwriter. Practicality – She knows it is worth it to pay an editor and to work with a publishing consultant or publisher to complete her book and publish it once she’s written her draft. Recommendation: Saving herself aggravation and time is the driver for the Dynamic Delegator. Her monetary investment will depend on the writing coach or ghostwriter she hires ($900 – 15,000). Working with a publishing consultant or publisher means she can focus on the message of her book and let the experts tackle the publishing tasks. Of course, these are general guidelines, but they illustrate considerations about your investment of time and money and your skill level. My hope is that you will write your “business card on steroids,” and make your book your BEST MARKETING TOOL EVER!
How Much Time and Money Should You Spend for Self-Publishing? By Kim Wells Eley
Investing in a Book Pays Off
Kim is a speaker, author, & publisher. A cat lover and a collector of orchids, she gets all of her news from comedy channels. KWE Publishing (804) 536-1972 kwe@kwepub.com www.kwepub.com
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When Your Business Calls To You by Kathryn Yarborough
When your purpose is best expressed through a business, it calls to you. The idea that calls to you will nag you until you move forward with it. You’ll be “given” breadcrumbs to follow. Ideas to explore. Skills to learn. People to talk to. Articles to read. Actions to take. Do you feel like there’s something for you to do… a service to provide… a product to create… people to serve? I do. Last month, I was Divinely inspired to create a new service - the Moving Sidewalk Movement. It’s for on purpose entrepreneurs who want to feel great as they grow their Divinely inspired businesses. Even more than that, they get how cool - and important - it is to align with the unfoldment of the Divine/ All-That-Is/the Great One as they grow their businesses. Over the past month, I’ve followed the breadcrumbs of this inspiration. I explored who this service would be for, what it could include, the impact it could make, how I would promote it, and of course, how much money I could make if people said YES to it. My mood improved when I felt clear about my direction. When I got confused and felt uncertain, it was as if I had lost my connection with the Divine, and my mood plummeted a few notches. Because I took action on my idea, I’ve learned some stuff. Through exploring how best to promote the Moving Sidewalk Movement, creating a sales page for it, and telling folks about it, I discovered that an unending, ongoing membership in this community is a great service for people who have been working with me for a while. They understand the reason for the Moving Sidewalk Movement and want to join this awesome community. And they have. The Moving Sidewalk Movement has launched and is growing! Other folks, who haven’t yet worked with me, think it sounds cool or interesting. But many have not yet said YES to an unending, ongoing membership. So, with my feet firmly planted on this earth, I brainstormed ideas to help potential, ideal clients get to the place where they would want to join. I considered offering a FREE membership for a trial period, a short-term membership with great benefits, and a FREE ongoing membership in the Facebook group. I've decided to go the last option, a FREE ongoing membership in the Moving Sidewalk Movement Facebook group. I've already planned to provide daily posts with great content and short trainings. I don't know if this will work... if people in the FREE Facebook group will then decide to join the Moving Sidewalk Movement as a paid member. But you know what? When you launch a new marketing "campaign or start a new service you never know what will happen. This is why I always say, "Take action and learn." For your service or product to be “sellable” your ideal clients need to want what you’re selling. That usually means that they feel that it will help them solve their problem, achieve their goal, or experience a desire. Your marketing, or the way you communicate to your potential clients, should help them get to a place where they believe your service or product will help them. Things to Do When you are called to create a new service or product: 1. Explore who this service or product is for. 2. Brainstorm about what it could include. 3. Journal about the potential impact of it. 4. Wonder about how you could promote it. 5. Talk to people about it. See how they respond. 6. Then, design a client-focused business and marketing plan. 7. Do what’s needed for your ideal clients to find out about your service or product, buy or sign up for it, and start working with you. 8. Learn from the experience of doing all of this. If you follow the breadcrumbs and take action, you will likely manifest your Divinely inspired business idea. You’ll serve, help, and impact awesome people – making a difference that feels good to you and them. And, instead of feeling disappointed about the things you didn’t do in your life, you’ll experience meaning, purpose, and joy more and more often. Sound good?
Take action and learn!
When your purpose is best expressed through a business, it calls to you.
Kathryn Yarborough is the creator of the Manifesting Clients Academy, an entrepreneur, and an inspirational speaker. She teaches heart-based entrepreneurs how to manifest clients and grow a business they love. You can find out more about Kathryn at: www.ManifestingClientsAcademy.com.
by Claudette Gadsden “Don’t cross your rivers ‘til you come to where your rivers are, for faith can make them disappear and you will journey far. ~Perry Tanksley
Peace is Within, Let’s Wallow There
The quote above is part of a poem that sits in plain view in my office. This serves as a beautiful reminder to stay in my lane and not cross rivers in my mind that I have not yet reached. The current state of the world, as it relates to this virus and its ripple effect, is uncertain and a little scary. People are experiencing many emotions right now and some for the very first time. I recognize this truth. And in recognizing this truth, I recognize the peace at my center. I recognize the power I have to do what’s best for me, in spite of. I recognize that same power in you! As I shelter in place with my girls, I recognize that I must get up a little earlier to enjoy the peace inside and outside the house. I take a walk and enjoy the sounds of nature. I listen to the birds chirp and sometimes enjoy the pleasure of the sun rising through the trees. I recognize this perfect opportunity to spend time loving on my girls with food, laughter, and baked goods. We have conversations that we wouldn’t have if they were sheltering at home, or this wasn’t happening at all. I am not grateful for this pandemic, but I am grateful for the opportunities to connect in a whole different way. I shared a home with my oldest granddaughter for the first seven years of her life but moved before the littlest angel arrived. I felt like I was missing the joys of her growth. Now I get to wallow in every moment of this experience with her. She sits beside me on her laptop while I work on mine. She reminds me to laugh, in spite of. The littlest angel doesn’t nap, so taking an afternoon walk gives me a midday pick-me-up and allows her to burn some energy. Sometimes that means kicking the ball down the driveway and throwing rocks in the pond; sometimes that means simply getting up and walking through the house. It’s moving my body that helps me move through the day. Let’s enjoy the time and space provided, in spite of. There are lots of things we have no control over, let’s choose not to focus on these things. You can choose not to be obsessed with the news and the doom and gloom of it all. If you watch TV, watch comedies, love stories, and shows that make your heart smile. Look for social media posts that speak to the goodness of the world, rather than those debating the responses and reactions of leaders, and people in general. Choose to wallow in the goodness of your life right now. Wallow in the peace that lives within. Don’t cross your rivers ‘til you come to where your rivers are, For faith can make them disappear and you will journey far. ~Perry Tanksley
I am grateful for the opportunities to connect. in a whole different way.
After more than 25 years working in private, public and government entities, nationally and internationally, Coach Claudette W. Gadsden understands how change and transition can impact someone’s life.During that time and through those years, she used her coaching skills to help people navigate through the maze of life to realize their dreams, visions and aspirations. Claudette is a speaker, corporate trainer and facilitator for Richmond Connections Over Coffee. Check out samples of her services at www.CoachClaudette.com.When Claudette's not training, coaching and traveling, she's innkeeper at a small bed and breakfast off the beaten path, www.TempleInTheWoods.com.
Our next issue is coming July 1, 2020.
During the Great Pause Be safe. Make smart choices. Tell the people you care about how you feel. Share this awesome magazine with your women friends. Enjoy life! Kathryn Yarborough, Creative Director
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