How to Talk to Kids in Crisis- Developmentally Appropriate Ways of Reassuring Kids by Age Groups
What approaches work best for communicating with kids at different levels of maturity? Would you like to know how to talk to kids in a crisis?
Ages 3-7 “We are here, we are going to take care of you and you will be okay.” Make and follow a regular routine schedule daily.
Ages 8-11 Nuts and bolts. Explain the mechanics of the situation. Let them know what to expect, what procedures will be implemented, what they will see and what will happen. Basically, how does it work.
Ages 12-18 Let them talk to their friends about it. Try to monitor from a distance and check in with what they are hearing. They want to know what “everybody else” in their peer group is thinking, feeling, and doing. At times it is helpful for an adult to monitor and mediate as teens sometimes propose extreme reactions and ideas.
Consider also that not all children mature socially and emotionally at the same rate. Kids affected by Autism or ADHD may lag behind most age-peers by a few to several years. Gifted children also are prone to asynchronous development. While they may possess the intellect to imagine normally adult kinds of concerns, needs, and outcomes, emotionally they could have difficulty coping with anxious thoughts. Use your judgement to temper how to talk to kids in crisis.
If a bit of talking doesn’t seem to help them stay calm and focused on tasks at hand, try implementing some regular, routine practices of healthy mental and emotional care. These might include:
Making a gratitude list to review daily, maybe at breakfast and perhaps at all sit-down mealtimes and at night right before bed. “These are the things we are grateful for; air conditioning, a roof that doesn’t leak, parents who love us, food in the pantry, running water, a warm bed, friends, pets, etc.”
Regular sleep schedule
Exercise daily
Regular healthy meals
Journaling
Provide structure by creating a routine with a schedule to follow through the day. For more information, see my free resources page, https://intensivecareforyou.com/resources-for-free/
On this page you will find
Activity Schedules- how to make a visual schedule to provide structure, ease transitions, and manage behavior
Affirmations to Calm Fears
Dream Book- a technique to create goals and get clear on what you want instead of focusing on present problems or limitations.
Stress Management Strategies
Relaxation Tips
Meditations
And many more brief and easy to use strategies to help kids cope with emotions, create mental health, and behave in expected ways.
The blog on this site, intensivecareforyou.com, also has many articles about gifted and twice exceptional children, teaching tools for anger, anxiety, and emotional control, Autism, ADHD, ODD, and behavior management.
More info about how to talk to kids in crisis:
https://www.kidsincrisis.org/get-help/
https://www.mercycorps.org/blog/tips-helping-children-through-crisis
I want to create healthy happy life
It can be hard to work with a mind that keeps going to the problems and worries. It's time to teach children their power over thoughts and feelings.
I would like teachable exercises for; replacing thoughts that are not helpful, reasonable, or true, creating joy and emotional resilience, Mindgarden metaphor illustrating power and choice in thoughts, Dream Book strategy for identifying clear goals and building motivation, a video explaining how NOT to let others or situations have the power to bring you down!