A full 71 percent of the respondents to Glamour's new money survey say they’ve stayed in a job because they couldn’t afford to leave; 31 percent say they’ve been financially trapped in a relationship. Paulette Perhach first popularized the term F*ck-Off Fund when she wrote an essay that went viral last year. She built up hers—and then used it after she traveled throughout South America and jumpstarted her dream career. If you haven't been persuaded by how vital it is to have a financial safety net, let her convince you.
My family went bankrupt when I was eight, so I never learned money skills. Anytime I got money, I spent it. That continued through my twenties. I eventually got a good job, started saving. And then for the first time, I had money. I built an emergency fund so that any day I needed to walk out, I’d have the financial cushion to tide me over. That was huge and the first time I felt the freedom of having more money.
I ultimately left my job and wrote about how I could have left slimy bosses and bad relationships if I’d had what I called a f*ck-off fund. The piece went viral; women told me it made them cry and they could relate.
I ended up going to South America and fulfilled my dream of being a traveling writer. I traveled mostly by myself, living the life I really wanted to live. I was making money writing; I was getting notoriety in my industry. It was my first time trying to be a digital nomad, and I learned some good lessons, like to keep track of flights, because I didn’t expect them to get more expensive as I moved around.
And of course, my fund didn’t last forever. When I got back to the States, I quickly used it up getting settled into a new apartment. Now I’m rebuilding it by living frugally in a tiny apartment and putting away $200 a week. I still overspend sometimes, but one of the biggest lessons I’m learning this year is to stand up, dust myself off, and start again. The more compassion you can have for yourself, the more resilient you will be.
If you want to build your own f*ck-off fund, start as small as you can, do regular money check-ins, and then just keep building. The genius of a f*ck-off fund? It isn’t about money only; it’s about building your skills and a network of people who can help you find a new job or escape a bad situation. Think: what are my escape doors? You never know when someone might abuse their power over you or you may be unhappy. Every woman should have a f*ck-off fund so that she can write her own story. That kind of freedom is the fanciest luxury I’ve ever known.
I’ve gone on nice trips; I’ve had wonderful meals with the money I’ve saved. But no experience is as good as it feels to know I have control over my own life because I can afford to make the changes I want to make at any time. The f*ck-off fund is all about power. And the more you feel that freedom, the more you’ll understand it’s the only way to live. —As told to Jessica Militare
